Awakening From Within

The Journey From Maternity Care To Soulful Authenticity

Nickita Starck - On The Doc Malik Podcast

MY JOURNEY TO MOTHERHOOD

My name is Nickita Starck. I am founder of the fastest growing decentralised maternity structure in the world ‘When Push Comes To Shove’. My thrust into the realm of childbirth started 15 years ago, with the birth of my first child. In essence, my experience was overwhelmingly traumatic. It felt as if pregnancy was akin to an ailment, and I sensed an utter loss of control over my own body. Surprisingly, I believed this was the standard narrative for women – a forfeiture of personal autonomy, entrusting our baby's well-being and our own to those in scrubs.

I stepped into my initial midwife consultation filled with excitement, eager to convey my emotions and aspirations. Yet, my enthusiasm was swiftly met with the harsh demeanour of a midwife whose coldness and judgments brought me to tears. The rest of pregnancy was no different. I felt powerless and frightened. As my pregnancy progressed to its final stages, I found myself robbed of my sense of autonomy, especially when I was informed that I ‘had’ to be induced since I was 10 days overdue.

I had no idea my baby had an ‘expiry date’ . I felt as if my body had failed me, pushing me to a point where I felt compelled to entrust it to professionals to set things right. What a shitty start to motherhood! The series of interventions that followed during my labour led to agonising pain and an overwhelming feeling of violation.I didn’t know it then, but I was just one of millions of women who felt raped during their birth. I emerged emotionally and physically scarred from the experience.

Shortly after my experience, I confided in my grandmother, a mother to seven children. I was astounded thinking she might have endured such a distressing process repeatedly. I shared with her my disbelief that countless women undergo this and consider it "normal." She clarified, "No, it's not normal; it's common. There's a difference." That moment was a revelation for me, igniting my deep passion for understanding childbirth and advocating for women's rights. My obsession had begun!